The Cosby Show

My mom got in my face when I walked in the door.
"Yah late again. Why?
"Because I..."
"That ain't no excuse. Yah think I don't got bettah things to do than wait around for ya."
I looked at the empty bottle under the table. She'd tried to hide it when I walked in.
"Yah ain't thirsty. That's a fact."
I didn't even feel the slap, that was how drunk she was. She just flailed and fell on the ground.
"Look what yah did! Help me up."
I got her seated. She looked at me.
"Yah know I love you. I love you hard because I don't want you to be soft. Yah pop's soft."
"He's a son of a bitch."
"Yah. Is yah brothah around?
"What do I know?"
"Well look, for crissakes!"
I went into the other room to find him. Brooklyn was passed out under the Christmas tree. The Christmas tree hadn't been watered in a month, and it was late February, so you do the math.
"He's fine. You change his diapers?"
"What you call me?"
My mom looked around and then walked to the sink and puked. In between spitting she turned at me, "You don't call me that."
I went into my room and closed the door.

My dad came home after in got dark. He caught me on the way out.
"Where you goin'?"
I pointed to the park.
"No. Get your ass upstairs."
"Mom was drunk again. And Brooklyn was wandering around."
I figured if my dad was worried about my mom then that would take some heat off me.
"You worry about you. I'll worry about that."
I swear that was my father's favorite line. "You worry about you."
What was that supposed to mean?
"Whatever."
"Alright. Yah get back in yah room or yah get the belt."
I looked at the door. Maybe I could go sleep over Brad's.
"I didn't say nothin'. Where's Brooklyn?"
"Don't change the subject. You want the belt?"
"I just want to go to the pahk!"
"You raising your voice to me, boy?"
I made a move for the door but the old man was quick. All those bottles my mother threw at him had made him as fast as a cat. He had my arm behind my back.
"Now who's tough? Now who's got a big mouth?"
I told him he was breaking my arm. That made him twist it tighter.
"You got a big mouth now?"
He twisted my arm until it went numb. Then he pushed me in my room and took my pillow. That was one of his punishments. Make me sleep without a pillow.
"If you run away, you better pack all your shit. Cause I'm renting out your room."
He closed the door and went to get Brooklyn. He started crying as soon as he woke up. My dad started yelling at him. I sat down near the window and looked into the empty cage where my hamsters used to live. Then I looked across the street and saw my neighbors watching television. The whole family was watching the Cosby Show. I'd seen a few episodes when I was over Becky's house. Bill Cosby was funny. The family was watching it all together on the couch. I could see them laugh at the jokes.
After a minute I got my Playboy magazine out from under the milk crate that held all my records. I took that Playboy and opened it up. Mrs. July laughed at all my jokes and I didn't need a pillow to fall asleep.