Lab Report

I waited to the last second to start my photosynthesis lab report. I hadn't done the lab work, is the reason. My lab partner, Shawn, stopped coming to school during that week and while that had nothing to do with me, I was distracted by it. Where was he? Where was Shawn? Did he die? Did he move? He wasn't my friend but I imagined Shawn was on a wonderful adventure out there in the world of sunshine. He wasn't trapped in school wasting his life on stupid lab reports.

"Oggy! Are you in there?"

It was my mother banging on the bathroom door. I wiped my ass and took a final drag off the joint. Then I flushed it all away.

"What!"

"Oggy? Did you leave this mess in the kitchen. God damn it!"

I had made some pancakes for dinner and then Brooklyn wanted me to make some for him. I said no and Brooklyn tried to make his own and made a mess. Because Brooklyn had not actually cooked a pancake I knew I was going to get blamed for leaving the mess.

"It was Brooklyn."

"That's bullshit! Get your ass out here and clean up the kitchen."

I washed my hands and took a drink out of the faucet to get the smell out of my mouth. I opened the door.

"It was Brooklyn. I cleaned up!"

Ma slapped me a good one.

"Are you talking back to me?"

"Why you hitting me?"

"You're smoking pot in the house. You think I can't tell? What did I tell you about smoking joints?"

"Get off my ass," I said as I pushed past her.

"That's good, tough guy. You're a tough guy when you got a belly full of pancakes in you. But what's gonna happen when you don't eat supper for a week? What then?"

"I don't know."

The walls were breathing and I heard a sound to my right. Brooklyn was dancing with a stuffed bear. I kicked the bear in the head. Brooklyn made a big fuss.

"Tell mom you messed the kitchen up, Brooks. Tell her."

"Ma, Oggy hit big bear."

"Is that right? Well, mama bear is gonna whip Oggy's ass if he doesn't clean that kitchen up."

"This is all bullshit! This sucks! I got homework."

Ma took another swing at me and I blocked it with my elbow.

"Yeah, ma," Brooklyn shouted, "Get him. Hit him."

I grabbed Brooklyn by his pajamas. One of the buttons flew off. I stared at a cookie monster or something. Then I punched Brooklyn in the arm.

"Shut up! Shut up!"

Then Ma finally caught me with a good one. She boxed my ear so that I only heard ringing for a few second. Brooklyn's mouth was wide open but I couldn't hear him crying. I looked at Ma and I could tell even she was worried for a second.

"Look what you made me do!" Was the first thing I heard when the ringing went away.

I cleaned up the pancake mix and washed the dishes and I had to apologize to Brooklyn. Then I went to my room. I would have 7 hours maximum of sleep if I fell asleep as soon as I got in bed. But I knew I wouldn't because I listened to Dr. Demento on Sunday night. I stared at my backpack. Inside was my unfinished lab report. I didn't know anything about what I was supposed to prove. Was I supposed to prove anything? It all seemed so pointless. Looking at a leaf under a microscope. Talking about cells. It didn't remotely apply to me. So I took the lab report out and tore it up. More specifically, I tore it up with my teeth. I would have to claim my dog had eaten it. There was nothing I could do.

I turned the radio on and began to listen to Dr. Demento, the radio clown. His cheerful voice gave me hope that the world wasn't all bad. Ma banged on the door.

"Oggy! The toilet is overflowing. Get your ass out here and clean it."

"I ain't doing shit, " I said.