I Can Only Go Up From Here

A New Hampshire Yankee in Los Angeles. Will Oggy find fame and Fortune? Will Oggy get his car to run? Will Oggy even find a job? Probably not, but won't it be funny to read about how close he gets?

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Monday, September 24, 2007

Memorabilia: Chapter 1 Memorabilia

Part One: Legends

Chapter One: Memorabilia

“Let me ask you a question. Ready? I want you to give me an honest answer.”

“Uhh.”

“Now, what does McNamara gain by letting Buckner run in the top of the tenth inning? He's got Tarver's two good ankles sitting on the bench. So, why let Buckner run?”

“It's late, Oggy. Go to sleep.”

“Listen: Buckner went 0 for 5 in Game 6 and had just been plunked on the hip in the top of the tenth. Sure, he hit the ball hard a couple of times to that punk Strawberry but the old man could barely walk by the top of the tenth. It was past his bedtime. Remember the high top sneakers?”

“Oggy, I…”

“Concentrate, Cristo. That bum was running bone on bone. Then he gets hit by a pitch with Barrett on second. So why leave him in? Why? Just pinch run La Schelle Tarver or Ed Romero for him and then send Baylor in to play first in the bottom of the inning. It's simple. There is no excuse! You play to win!

“La Schelle Who?”

“You aren’t paying attention. Tarver's the guy who should've pinch run for Buckner. Do you want to know something else, Sticky? Are you ready to shut up for two seconds and learn something new?”

“No. I want to sleep. My teeth hurt. I went to the dentist yesterday and…”

“Let me tell you a little secret, Sticky.”

“The only secret is why I...”

“Listen. Almost no one remembers this.”

“No one remembers because no one cares. What time is it?”

“Time for you to shut your mouth and listen! Did you know that Baylor was in The Hole, with a bat in his hands, when Henderson hit the home run in the top of the tenth? Don ‘Thirty-One Homers’ Baylor had a batting helmet on his head! He was going to bat! Remember that, smart guy?”

“How am I going to remember who was in The Hole for twenty seconds? I have more important things to...”

“Then let me remind you: Baylor was going to bat for Schiraldi after Spike Owen. See? This was before McNamara lost his mind. Spike Owen was on deck while Henderson was at bat. Baylor was in The Hole, due to bat after Owen. Stanley was warming up. McNamara had decided to lift Schiraldi and probably lift Buckner. Baylor just hadn’t reported in yet. Don't you see what that means? My prophecy was coming true.”