Xanadu 

Oggy's Friday

Oggy's Friday

When Oggy woke up he knew he shouldn't go to work.


He knew it.


His head felt heavy.


His prostate hurt when he masturbated


The free clinic said they didn't have any appointment
open.


They said he would need to prove he made less that
$1000
a month and that he lived in Venice.


Oggy knew he was lying but he had been through this
before.


Telling the truth gets you nowhere.


It definitely doesn't get you into the doctor.


There are plenty of people who are dead because they
told the truth.

"What is wrong?" asked the person on the phone.


"I cough a lot. I've been sick. Maybe I have pneumonia."


"Call back on Monday," said the lady.


Oggy asked, "Monday?"


Yes.


So Oggy's day was looking bad.


He showed up two hours late for work.


No one talked to him all day.

---

---

Later
on, Oggy was printing some pages of html tags.


It was work related in a round about way.


Oggy comes into contact with html language quite a bit.


His partners don't seem to mind that Oggy is learning
the language as he goes along.


They don't expect him to do anything to it, but they
are ignorant.


Oggy often has no choice but to wrestle with html.


Sometimes he loses the battle.


But to place Oggy in a position of power over three
different
interfaces, all of which involve mostly html based files, without
recognizing
Oggy's level of understanding, was their decision. Oggy is just going
along
with it because it is better than moving furniture.


Oggy has to eat and he eats because of the html based
files.


Many people are ignorant.

So Oggy was day dreaming and was tired.


He looked at the affiliate tracking interface, as he
usually does when he gets bored.


The interface is a whole world that Oggy has control
of.


He doesn't know it but he finds security in that.


Oggy noticed that the payment info for his affiliates
was not in a sensible location.


In fact, there was no link to it at all.


Oggy happened to stumble on it by clicking a random
term.


There was no reason the link should have brought him
to the payment page.


No one but Oggy could fix it.


But how could he fix it?


After an hour or so of totally messing up the code on
his affiliate site, Oggy decided to get some tips from a few sites.


Oggy had rendered two pages of his affiliate network
unusable because of his experiments.


If he went to his boss or his designer and said, "I was
playing around in the interface and thought I could learn html in an
hour,
but it turns out that all I did was fuck up the code and now two
important
pages can't be read. Could you help me?"


Such a statement would not be reacted to favorably.

---

---

So Oggy was alone to fix the problem.


Oggy learned that he had deleted many closing tags.


Closing tags are important. they look like
this


A bunch of them were gone.


Oggy wasn't sure how many.


He only knew that now the text didn't know when to stop
being shaded.


Instead of fixing the problem with the link, Oggy had
made things much worse.


Oggy laughed.


If his affiliates knew how far away they were from
getting
paid, they would cry.


But somehow Oggy managed to get the code and paste it
in a place where he could edit it and preview it without making
permanent
changes.


Editing html without making permanent changes should
have been the first thing his boss taught him.


As it was, no one had taught him.


It turns out that you put the html in a notepad, save
it as"name".html. Then you drag it to a browser to preview what it
looks
like.


That is actually the hard way to do it.


Oggy happens to work in an office where every computer
has all the applications needed to publish web sites fast.


An html editor like "netscape composer" or
"dreamweaver"
or "red dwarf" will let you write in the text, add images, make links,
and everything, without ever dealing with things like closing tags.


Oggy didn't know this until it was too late.


But once he learned this it was easy to fix everything
by trial and error.


Then he found out the right address of the page he
wanted
to link to. He wrote something like, Payment
Info
on one page and then saved the page and opened the browser and reloaded
the browser and then found the link and clicked on it and it brought
him
to the right page.


Then he took the notepad html text and cut and pasted
it into the field in the interface where it belonged.


That is the process he should have taken before he just
started editing and saving the html in the field that was given to him
as the "Affiliate Manager".


Oggy isn't a fool.


But he is taking a crash course in internet commerce.


The rule is this:


"Remove the Html from the original field so that it may
be *fucked with
safely.*


Find a way to view it in a browser before putting
the html back in the field.


Because once it is saved, the original is gone.


And no one will give you a beer to cry in.

---

---

I'm lost To spite you I was looking for porn but... What was the question? Nothing better to do Xanadu was checked out Why are you here? Ohio Another Countrywith fleas. Who are you to askthat?What was the question? I forgetXanadu Where are you From? Other reason? Other Place? Search for file Send Form Directly to God

Oggy went to Van Nuys on Saturday.


Saturday was his day off and it looked like he was either going
to get fired or get a raise.


Actually it was going to be one or the other.


He wasn't leaving without a raise. And if wasn't getting a raise
then he was leaving without a job.


Such is business.


So he figured driving to Van Nuys was important.


Since his future depended on it.

He drove up there with forms and passwords and a plan.


He would tell his boss that if they wanted an "All-Purpose"
employee,
then they needed to throw down some good green wood.


He rehearsed the speech.


It wasn't bad. It made sense to Oggy.


He knew that they had their position to consider.


Oggy isn't stupid.

He got there and they talked about the situation.


Oggy was told he was in a position to make an "unlimited" amount
of money.


Oggy recognized that position, but he still needed to pay bills,
buy new shoes, get some health insurance, and car insurance.
"Unlimited"
meant nothing to him.


A dollar meant something to him.


He ended up with a dollar raise.


That is a 10% raise, which isn't bad.


It isn't going to mean he can buy a Cadillac, but it means he can
get car insurance.


That is something.

Asking for a raise isn't easy when you really haven't done much
but
sit on your ass and download songs from Limewire.


Oggy didn't have much to sell, but in his first selling assignment,
he managed to close the deal.


That is a good sign since he is now expected to sell products he
has never seen.


The more he sells, the more he makes.

You know the deal.

---

Drop down Poetry

Last nightI dreamedin drop down menusthat told the storyof mylife

I dragged the wordsAnd they didn't meananythingThe whole thingWas a shamthe pot of goldwas a pile of shit

But this lifenever promised to beanything but a pile of shitthat I look atand pick upand eat with a smile

---